As I stroll through Glasgow it is hard not to spot windows displaying ‘Black Lives Matter’ signs left behind from the largest anti-racism protests in Scotland in decades. A sea of skinny white boys’ flock alongside me to the back exit stairs of Kelvingrove art museum. But today I’m not here to skate, I am here to meet up with 21-year-old Noah Payne. I spot his green hair as he refines his ollies at the top of the stairs. Those 16 stairs I have tried to smoothly drop down before and remarkably fallen right on my arse.

Noah greets with a signature Covid-19 elbow bump. His smile as bright as the pearls he wears around his neck. He opens up to me about what it’s like being black and trans in a white cis male dominated sport, and world.

Noah first came out at 19 years old and was shocked at how well his friends and family took the news. He had wanted to come out for a long time but didn’t have the confidence to. Now he is openly out living unapologetically authentically and happy to speak to me about his journey so far.

He tells me how he used to say things like; “Imagine being a boy, that would be so cool if you could do that”, when he was just fourteen. In 2019 Noah was put on a gender identity clinic waiting list.

“They told me originally it was 14 to 16 months and now it’s 21 months, I had to go private halfway through 2019, it was very stressful for mental health reasons.”

He told himself, “If I want to be 30 and be my authentic self then I have to do it because I can’t imagine being older than I am now and still not start T or be on hormones.I don’t think I would actually be here if that was the case.”

Noah is currently raising money to get top surgery, a gender affirming surgery that will allow him to feel more comfortable in his own skin. Scotland is a country that places high emphasis on freedom but for many of its transgender youth that freedom is far from reach. Many like Noah are trapped on waiting lists with no help from health services, it can be an extremely isolating and confusing time period. The LGBTQ community plays a vital role in helping support one another. Noah now plays his part in helping to support others by running the Glasgow Queer Skate Collective as skateboarding was something Noah had wanted to do for a while.

“I wanted a passion. Something to do and get out the house with and it offers that. It also offers a place to make friends. And because the LGBT community has emerged into the skate community it’s good to meet more people that you identify with as well.” But he also acknowledges that being black and trans in the skate community isn’t easy.

Do you feel represented in the skateboarding industry and community?

“I know there is a representation, but I’ve never seen it. I’ve never really seen a lot of black trans skaters because that’s a lot of small things isn’t it? Being black, trans AND a skater.” I realised at that moment that every other skater behind Noah is white.

“But I suppose that just means there is an opening for me to be that representation.”

Noah addressed the issues that he faces as a black man that go further than lack of representation in skateboarding. His gentle eyes darted downwards, when I asked, ‘Have you experienced racism?’. There was no hesitation as he quickly answered ‘yes’. Scotland is not the anti-racist utopia that we pretend it is. Noah has been experiencing racism since he was a small child.

“I was at the ice cream van and people just screamed the N word at me… I was six.”

Only 200 years ago Glasgow’s tobacco merchants and slave traders accumulated their wealth through slavery. It is a privilege for me to sit and learn about racism at 16 in a classroom, or through talking to skaters like Noah who it is a reality for.

“We say black lives matter because we do and we are dying, every day.”

He tells me about the black lives matter movement; “I’m not saying there’s not a risk for white people but when white people get murdered its more specifically recorded in the media. I don’t hear about black people being killed through mainstream media more specifically black trans women who have been murdered a lot recently, it’s just not on the mainstream media because our lives aren’t actually regarded as the same level as white lives.”

“That’s why we need this movement just so we can feel safe and just to let people know that we can talk about it more often even with our families and friends.”

In the past decade racially motivated crimes have been the most reported hate crime in Scotland, with a 4% increase last year. These are only the recorded ones, so the numbers are likely to be higher.

What comes to your mind when you hear “All lives matter”?

“There is always going to be people who try to break up a movement especially when they feel they are not a part of that movement. But when I see ‘All lives matter’, it makes me think that you specifically think I’m saying white lives don’t matter but I’m not saying that. I’m saying black lives are the most at risk at the moment, so we need to focus on how to make us safe and feel comfortable.”

“I am living the Black Lives Matter movement. There is no way to put it other than it is life or death for me.”